To intervene or not? That’s the question.

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It’s coming to the time when I have to acknowledge that I must extend the strings of attachment to my daughter. With all the challenges, changes, and some maturity that have happened to her, she will be leaving us to go to college. It is so tough for parents of a learning disabled child. This summer has taught me how I must hand over responsibility to her, she has to make the decisions of how to proceed. My daughter got a summer job as a camp counselor at a camp she and my son have gone to for many years. Although her psychiatrist recommended that she take the summer off, she wanted this job. She went in headfirst, this is a good thing but to a learning disabled child who is impetuous it can be very challenging. We had some difficult times, learning how to focus on the children, having patience, and obeying the rules. There were times as a parent I wanted to intervene BUT, I stayed out of it. I let my daughter navigate with the Directors and believe me not all the results were positive. It came a time when she had to let them know she had a disability. Which brings me to a very big question no one can answer “When do you tell a potential employer if you have a disability?” Do you tell in the beginning and they discriminate? Do you not tell and when issues arise, you then bring it to the forefront? No one can give you an answer to this. It’s a hit or miss situation. Not what anyone wants to hear but there are no answers. In the issue of my daughter, she hit some challenging times in this job, she worked for 5 weeks and had two off. They said they would call her back when they have more children, hopefully this is true and not an avoidance, but regardless there is a learning lesson. Every job is a learning lesson, hopefully my daughter will someday realize that this was a valuable one. She did have the opportunity so I look at this as very positive. There are no right and wrong answers for our children, we have to go with what we feel would be the best until they can make these decisions, which is very difficult to let go of. So as a parent, I have to extend my strings, hope that the tools I have given her she will remember. Hope that she calls when she truly cannot navigate and focus on what is important. Now I have my daughter going to a college that deals with children and her specific disability so I’m hoping the environment will help her understand she is not alone. Hopefully she will see that they all can work together to deal with what God has given them. I truly believe this will be a positive. I know I’ll get the phone calls, I am anticipating getting them. This will lead to our next journey, which I hope will be a great one for her. Along with greatness comes a lot of heartache and disappointments, but I’m looking at her to triumph. Until next time…

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