Welcome to 2019
Well it’s been a few years since I have blogged.  I really have keep this up to help people know how our children with Learning Disabilities really grow and evolve.  So much has happened with both my children in 2017-2018.
My daughter who ran off and got married in December 2015 to a Navy boy, yes 21 in my book is a boy has since gotten divorced.  ADD and anxiety can manifest itself in many ways.  When our children are young and undiagnosed they give off “different” signals to other children.  Some of our children are made fun of, some lead a very solitude existence.  My daughter was rejected by most of her friends so in college she was craving approval and friendships.  She found a Navy boy who needed the same things.  He was due to get transferred and if he was married he would stay in the USA.  To make a very long story short, he proposed and asked her not to tell us.  I found our randomly that they eloped.  The good part my daughter finished her semester in college, they moved to Washington state, where he was from.  They moved multiple times, Washington to Virginia and Virginia to Florida.  There were multiple times he left for weeks at a time.  She could not find a job, friends and she was constantly fighting with him.
Key in traumatic situations, therapy for the parent is essential.  We have so many mixed feelings and need to keep communication up with our children. This is what kept my daughter talking to us, and in the end, come home and advocate for herself back to college. Yes, we went picked her up, her things and the balance of her sanity.  She healed and went back to college on her terms.  She got all her scholarships, financial aid and loans herself.  We didn’t pay a dime.  Right now she is in her Junior year, works on campus, and is going for a psychology and Criminal Justice majors.  As the years pass, we see great improvement in her.  She now admits she needs therapy and is looking for therapists herself.  I find that I’m so proud of the person she has become, no matter how hard it was to let her go.  Although I miss that young, naïve child, I am proud and admire the adult she has become.  I know now that the value system I instilled in her during her childhood years did imbed themselves in her brain.  It just took her time to search for them and really use these tools.

Tools, key things we give our children.  Sometimes we don’t even think we are giving them ideas, formulas and the power to empower themselves.  The greatest gift I gave my daughter was the ability for her to advocate for herself, if you get a no from anyone and you believe you should be able to attain this, go after it another way,  My best words for my daughter when she was married and would call me crying was”  Take a deep breath!  Hold it!  Let it out,  Now think about what you need to do, and let me know how  you handle it”.  Nine times out of ten, she called me back and told me how she resolved it.  She needed me to calm her down, tell her she could do it and let me know how she worked it out.  Many times she would get mad at me, but she always called me back and told me what she did to resolve it.  These things shock me all the time.  We never as parents think our children have this capability.  They do, trust them!

My son has grown, 17 years old, tall and thin.  His brain is in different directions, one of which is not college.  We have decided to have him do 5th year school.  The emotional and maturity development is not there and putting him in a situation of independence and self motivation would be a disaster to him and his self confidence.  We have found a 5th year school that he wants to go to.  So pleased, he is investigating a portfolio, and what college has to offer him, but we will wait on that.  He is becoming a very independent soul.  He surprises me in knowing his feelings and working with it, Don’t get me wrong he needs help,  I have him in a socialization class which he loves.  This gives him the tools to become more open, and create conversations with others.  This will be key in college.

As we work through these issues as a family, yes as a support team,  we have been able to overcome some surmountable issues.  There are still the times when we blunder but everyone has a hiccup now and then.